Costumes
by Lisa Malone
“You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent; anything you say can and will be used against you.” The police officer
grabbed
the
zombie
by
the scruff of his neck
and shoved
him against the wall, twisting his arm to hold him in place.
“Look man, it’s just a misunderstanding. I know her, stop twisting my arm,” the zombie struggled.
The police officer twisted harder as he unclipped cuffs from his belt and snapped them on.
“Oh God, Anna, tell him,” the zombie pleaded with the girl backed into the corner.
“Thank you so much officer, I’ve never seen this loser before. I thought for sure he was going to rape and kill me,” Anna said, smiling demurely . “Your costume’s not even scary, idiot.” She shot towards the zombie before bolting from the alley.
“Anna? Hey, Anna! What are you…hey, cut it out , I’m not a bad guy,” the zombie said as the officer started shoving him in the direction of the police car.
“I know you’re not a bad guy,” the cop opened the car door and threw the zombie inside.
“Wait, well, why are you arresting me then?”
The cop slammed the passenger door closed before getting into the front of the car and turning the key in the ignition . “Why? Because there are rules.”
“Oh man, seriously? Look, it was just a prank . That girl, Anna, she’s my ex. I just wanted to scare her - it’s Halloween. I wouldn’t really have harmed her.” The zombie squirmed on the back seat.
“It doesn’t bother me what you would or would not have done.” The police car pulled out into traffic.
The zombie slumped back into the seat and stared out the window as the car drove through the main streets of the city. “Where’s your back-up ?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Back-up? Didn’t know I needed any.”
The zombie looked at the car door then back towards the cop. Slowly he started inching his way towards the door.
“They’re locked, you won’t make it.”
The zombie sighed, but stopped moving. “Aren’t you even going to ask my name?” he asked as several more minutes elapsed .
“Didn’t realise your name was important.”
“Well, it’s Matt Cooper.”
There was silence for another minute.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask anything else?”
“ Excessive talking with captives is forbidden , it’s against the rules.”
“What do you mean, against the rules?”
The cop looked at the boy dressed as zombie in the rear view mirror. “So we don’t get feelings for our prey and let them go.”
“So, if I keep talking, you’ll feel sorry for me and let me go?” Matt perked up.
“No.”
“Well, I’m gonna talk anyway. I’m a nineteen year old college student; I study history and am a member of the college football club.”
The officer looked into the rear view mirror again before indicating and changing lanes. He pulled into a deserted car park and switched off the lights. Undoing his seat belt he turned to look at Matt.
“Where are we? This isn’t the police station, are you letting me go?”
“I told you, there are rules.”
“ Screw the rules, what can you book me for? It’s Halloween; I dressed up as a zombie to scare my ex, so what?”
“These rules are one of the few things keeping us alive.”
“Really? You must have dressed up on Halloween at least once, have some compassion.”
“I dress up on Halloween every year.”
“Oh yeah, as what?”
The cop turned around, an ornate knife clutched in his hand. “A cop.”
“Look man, it’s just a misunderstanding. I know her, stop twisting my arm,” the zombie struggled.
The police officer twisted harder as he unclipped cuffs from his belt and snapped them on.
“Oh God, Anna, tell him,” the zombie pleaded with the girl backed into the corner.
“Thank you so much officer, I’ve never seen this loser before. I thought for sure he was going to rape and kill me,” Anna said, smiling demurely . “Your costume’s not even scary, idiot.” She shot towards the zombie before bolting from the alley.
“Anna? Hey, Anna! What are you…hey, cut it out , I’m not a bad guy,” the zombie said as the officer started shoving him in the direction of the police car.
“I know you’re not a bad guy,” the cop opened the car door and threw the zombie inside.
“Wait, well, why are you arresting me then?”
The cop slammed the passenger door closed before getting into the front of the car and turning the key in the ignition . “Why? Because there are rules.”
“Oh man, seriously? Look, it was just a prank . That girl, Anna, she’s my ex. I just wanted to scare her - it’s Halloween. I wouldn’t really have harmed her.” The zombie squirmed on the back seat.
“It doesn’t bother me what you would or would not have done.” The police car pulled out into traffic.
The zombie slumped back into the seat and stared out the window as the car drove through the main streets of the city. “Where’s your back-up ?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Back-up? Didn’t know I needed any.”
The zombie looked at the car door then back towards the cop. Slowly he started inching his way towards the door.
“They’re locked, you won’t make it.”
The zombie sighed, but stopped moving. “Aren’t you even going to ask my name?” he asked as several more minutes elapsed .
“Didn’t realise your name was important.”
“Well, it’s Matt Cooper.”
There was silence for another minute.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask anything else?”
“ Excessive talking with captives is forbidden , it’s against the rules.”
“What do you mean, against the rules?”
The cop looked at the boy dressed as zombie in the rear view mirror. “So we don’t get feelings for our prey and let them go.”
“So, if I keep talking, you’ll feel sorry for me and let me go?” Matt perked up.
“No.”
“Well, I’m gonna talk anyway. I’m a nineteen year old college student; I study history and am a member of the college football club.”
The officer looked into the rear view mirror again before indicating and changing lanes. He pulled into a deserted car park and switched off the lights. Undoing his seat belt he turned to look at Matt.
“Where are we? This isn’t the police station, are you letting me go?”
“I told you, there are rules.”
“ Screw the rules, what can you book me for? It’s Halloween; I dressed up as a zombie to scare my ex, so what?”
“These rules are one of the few things keeping us alive.”
“Really? You must have dressed up on Halloween at least once, have some compassion.”
“I dress up on Halloween every year.”
“Oh yeah, as what?”
The cop turned around, an ornate knife clutched in his hand. “A cop.”
